Old Man Rant Again

Speaking of Jenny McCarthy, did you follow the party coverage of the Super Bowl weekend? Lots of behind-the-scenes looks at this A-list couple going to that A-list club. Exactly the type of stuff that makes me want to live out the rest of my years in the northern reaches of western Canada. I just wish I was better with one of those Swiss Army knives.

Remember when female musicians used to be female musicians? When actresses were just actresses? When did the memo go out to all women telling them they had to look like porn stars too? Seriously, I think every South Beach party picture I saw had a woman showing cleavage, legs and ass, or at least some kind of suggestive smile that told me -- and only me, of course -- that she was ready for me to meet her at her hotel and have my way with her. Certainly the temperatures are nicer in Miami than in most places this time of year, but -- and I haven't yet been invited to a red-carpet Super Bowl party, so I could be wrong -- the invitations surely don't require female guests to dress nearly naked. Do they?

But that's unfortunately how things are in our VIP and velvet-rope culture, which has conditioned too many women to put on every weekend outfit with "How much attention will I get from men?" being the chief concern.

This is not a new rant. The only two girls who've ever broken up with me heard variations of it often. I'm pretty doting with girlfriends, but when it feels like the large amount of attention I heap upon them still isn't enough, then the problem is on them, not me.

This is obviously a note from someone who's 36, not 26, but if you've dated me, or even if you've just had a conversation with me, you know this isn't old and conservative talking. It's well known I can be just as perverted as the next Larry Flynt.

But as long as tan, curvy women want to behave in a way that makes Girls Gone Wild videos sell like hotpants, er, hotcakes, I'll never know which is worse -- their starvation for attention, or the eagerness by typical men to encourage such behavior.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go search for more pictures of Eva Mendes.