Last-Minute Halloween Costume Ideas

If you're like a lot of guys -- jackass, dork, meathead, poser, wannabe -- who somehow tricked a girl out of your league into being your girlfriend, and you're thinking about dressing up as Adam and Eve or some cliche couple for a Halloween party tonight, think again.

PAE's Chicago correspondent Marcus Riley sent in quite a helpful link to a Web site for tough guys to examine before heading out to bob for apples or trick or treat.

PS-Have you ever noticed how all pretty people think they're ready for their close-ups? Look at some of the pictures on that site; between the fake tits, puckered lips, suggestive poses or swirls shaved into the side of your bad hair, everyone seems to think they're models. As if that would make them important. Have fun getting back to your restaurant job, fucko.