I think today is the exact two-year anniversary that I moved up here from Louisville. That, coupled with the release of the sure-to-be-annoying "Sex And The City" movie means there's no better time than now to rail on the women up here.
OK, just kidding, but regardless of how long I've been here, I have made some serious observations on the singles scene in what many believe is the best city in the world. It is a great city in many regards, and I don't really have many complaints. The people are a different breed than what I'm used to in the midwest. Sometimes in a good way. Sometimes in a bad way.
Some up here tell me it's hard to meet people, or so said the network meteorologist I had drinks with last summer. I made her laugh for three hours, but haven't seen her since. I will return to this point shortly about flaky women.
But I fully disagree about the difficulty with which one can meet people. First of all, I think the latest census shows that 95 trillion people live in Manhattan. Wait, that doesn't sound right, but if it's packed with people and it's nicknamed "The City That Never Sleeps," how can you
not meet people?
I will, however, say that what is difficult is building and sustaining friendships with those many new people you do meet. I used to hear this about LA, that folks will say "Yeah, let's definitely get together next weekend," and before you know it, you don't see or even talk to that person for two months. But there's plenty of that here in New York as well. And I've pulled that shitty move a time or two as well, so don't feel too sorry for me.
People here have no problem whatsoever flaking on you. Whether it's canceling shortly before you have plans, or just straight up not showing up, people will do this and do it often. I wish I was better at canceling or just saying no in the first place, because I am
sooo uptight about doing things on weeknights, and much of the time, that's where the better social opportunities are.
Also, and this is a new thing for me to see, but your guy friends will hit on girls you take to parties. And female friends will tell you it's about time you met for a drink, but when you call a bluff, there's
always something. In case you're wondering if I'm sounding only like a victim, don't worry. Despite the reluctance, I've been an a-hole plenty of times up here. I have had to cancel at the last minute before, but I think what separates midwest friendlies from east-coast dicks is the level of guilt that follows. I've worried for a couple of days after urinating all over plans, whereas I think many people who are either from here or who have lived in New York long enough will register a Guilt Level of 0.0.
Take, for example, many of the gorgeous single women I've met here. I'm not trying to sound arrogant; we all know that comes naturally for me. But seriously, I have met plenty of people; a few have been lovely gals that any man would ask out.
Let me describe to you some of the exploits of just a few of these women. Some might call them superficial, perhaps materialistic. I won't judge that harshly; the only thing I say for certain is that it's just illogical. My friend Miles used to have a good line back in the day, if we were out and spotted an attractive woman. "Stay away from her; she's crazy," he'd say, then when asked how he knew, he'd follow with, "That's easy, because she's hot."
And while I won't use names, let's just say the following things have taken place in two short years. By the way -- and this is important -- this isn't a re-hash of dating woes; these instead, I promise to you were merely friendships that went sour just with people from work, actually, one-time friends I still see on a near-daily basis:
+ Lovely female I'd hung out with several times agrees to meet for drinks on a Friday night. Who knows where this was headed, if anywhere, but we talked earlier in the day how such-n-such train always is unpredictable on weekends, so we might be a little late. She got there 10 minutes after our agreed time, I arrived 10 minutes after that, but apparently too late. She'd already put her coat back on and started to walk out when I was 100 feet away from the bar. We walked to the train together so she could go to another party. By herself.
+ Lovely female with serious boyfriend asks me to do some fun things with her over a couple of months, as we both seemed to have similar work schedules, leaving in early- or mid-afternoon. Purely platonic, but truly building a very solid friendship. She got engaged 18 months ago, I offered sincere congratulations and of course she's barely talked to me since, including no-shows at my two parties for which she replied to neither E-vite.
+ Lovely female from work seemed thoroughly interested in hanging out on a weekend. We did that a year ago, then enjoyed some more 1-on-1 time twice or three times more. Clearly a good, positive connection. Haven't seen her since and it's been more than a year. Not one thing happened physically, just a good friendship in the making, then a complete disappearance.
+ Lovely female and I say hello and make small talk here and there, as co-workers do. Then I say it's about time we shake hands and get to know each other's names. Now she walks right past me in the hallways.
I know a few folks from work read this blog, so I'll stop there, but let's just say that the above examples are far from all of them.
And let me remind you; this again is not a woe-is-me-can-you-believe-she-did-that-to-me vent. It's just a recap on one of the most disappointing aspects of the people I've seen in my two years here. If anything, it serves as an easy reminder that the midwest is where it's at if you want to learn how to treat others.
Flaky people are not usually my male friends. They are usually not unattractive women. They are almost always good-looking women who at some point began to think it is OK to act as though the rules of friendship and common courtesy do not apply to them. They're constantly bombarded with attention from many men, so they can afford to weed out even the most decent of people from whom they cannot gain. By showing me how little they value good, honest friendships, they're actually doing me the favor by making themselves look like self-obsessed idiots, easing any disappointment I might have otherwise had about the disintegration of any potential connections.
The frustration has nothing to do with dating. As I said, the above examples are just work people. The dating situation is fine for me right now, and I try not to shit where I eat.
Lastly, if you're wondering how "Sex And The City" fits into all of this, that's a question I'd actually like to ask you.
Do you think that bad show that clearly overstayed its welcome has helped facilitate the shallow culture? Can one once-popular television show that hasn't been hip for at least six years have such a lasting effect that women are still craving cosmos, expecting expensive dinners, weekends in the Hamptons and $400 shoes from the new ab-ripped boyfriend while fending off love letters from the last?
Labels: New York
Not long after I heard about the Manhattan crane collapse this morning, my boss and I agreed I should go up there and shoot it. By the time I got there, unfortunately, cops were in a-hole mode and not allowing a whole lot of photographers too close. I take that back; they do have to keep things secure and allowing media free reign is not their top priority.
But I will tell you I followed some dude up the elevator in a Marriott right across from the site (91st and 1st), and when he asked me what floor after he hit 15, I said I'll go to 15 as well. He got a little suspicious, but then when I told him what I was up to, he suggested I try the roof. 
