Staring At Children

The Baton, who is half-filipino, and I had at least a handful of meals last summer at Whole Foods, her favorite place to eat. One time when we were there, she saw a Japanese girl who wasn’t older than 2 or 3, and referenced the child’s “little black hair.”

I’ve seen some of Jennifer’s childhood home videos, and she looks a lot more Asian as a child than she does now. Consequently, every time I see an Asian toddler, I think of two things – Jennifer and the words “little black hair.”

So I got on the train the other day, and across from me and down about 10 feet was a young Asian mom with her two kids, probably 2 and 3. The younger of the two seemed astute enough to be thinking what her mom likely was thinking – “My, that American man over there sure is handsome.”

The little girl kept staring at me, so I stared back, made a face, she smiled, I smiled, etc. She had little black hair, therefore she reminded me of my lovely girlfriend, who I haven’t seen in nearly three weeks since she moved to grad school in Virginia. So as long as the young girl kept making faces and smiling, I kept doing the same back.

Now I know it’s one thing to tell a stranger, “Aww, cute baby,” which I’ve actually never done, because, frankly, I think babies all look alike and they are not attractive. I almost feel guilty when my friends send me birth announcements because those baby pictures do absolutely nothing for me. I save them only because I’m a packrat, not because I’m ever going to look at them again.

But it’s an entirely different thing to stare at a 2-year-old for the majority of a five-minute train ride. It suddenly hit me that had an outsider been observing my stare-off with the Asian girl, perhaps he could have thought something like “there’s a sensitive man who adores children.” More likely, I fear, he might have been thinking he was watching the next John Mark Karr.

Which begs the question, when does it become awkward for you when strangers are admiring your baby out in public? Please reply to this most urgent inquiry.