Wedding Bashers?

One thing I miss about working in the WLKY newsroom in Louisville is the seemingly daily discussions of one spirited topic or another. There was always a debate and as you can imagine, I was always right.

But nearly four months into the new gig here in New York, we finally had our first good discussion involving opposing viewpoints. Mine, of course, was the right one.

A gal from the office, a friendly and fair sweetheart of a young lady, very well-mannered and polished, brought up for the second straight day her disappointment with a wedding only she was invited to, not she "and guest." It was actually quite a surprise to see her so bothered by something.

My take here is textbook etiquette -- if you're in a serious relationship, engaged or married, you bring your significant other. And that option will be made available when you receive the invite, addressed to "Jane Doe and guest," rather than just "Jane Doe."

But if you're merely an acquaintance of the bride and/or groom, either they know you well enough to know you don't meet that criteria, or they don't know you well enough -- perhaps you're a co-worker -- in which case they don't owe you a two-person invitation.

My co-worker says if you're watching the budget so closely that you can't just send out a bunch of two-person invites, perhaps you should be planning a different type of reception at a different type of facility. She thinks the comfort of the guests should be a top priority. But I think the guests should feel honored to be sharing in such a special day that they should be thankful to be on the invite list to begin with regardless of whether you're with a date.

Co-worker's bottom line: The guests should be allowed to choose whether to bring a date so they can fully enjoy such a special event. The bride and groom should be more considerate.

My bottom line: The day belongs to the bride and groom, not the guests. If the new couple needs to be selective about the invite list for budgetary concerns, they should do whatever they need to make sure they can enjoy their big day.

I just wanted to put this debate up for discussion, not to criticize the co-worker's viewpoint, so let me hear your thoughts.