Unsolicited News Rant

Katie Couric’s ratings have dropped in each of her five weeks on the job at CBS, according to newly released Nielsen data.

I don’t know if I’m surprised at this news or not, and I didn’t care enough until I read the third graf, which was CBS’ reaction to this week’s data. It said the network was the only one of the three majors with more viewers last week than during the same week last year.

Wow. That’s huge. I think I have a boner.

Do you want to know why there are so many demographics and categories and sample periods? So suits can keep their jobs. “Yeah, boss, but we really showed considerable growth among 37 to 37 and a half year old retarded men who wear fanny packs and have dogs as pets.”

There’s so much research out there, yet there’s not enough, and it’s disgusting. No one makes a decision based on instinct or vision anymore. I once worked at a TV station whose brand new general manager – great with names and being cordial to underlings like me – but just as juvenile as the rest of us once you were in separate rooms. His organizational skills certainly were impressive, and he liked meetings and pep talks, many of which included sentences beginning with “Research shows . . . ” The research, I later learned, was many times made up of samples of less than 100 participants, but apparently it was enough (read: cheap enough) to inspire certain personnel decisions.

You can research all you want, fucko, until you see the result you want, but any media outlet that pursues managers whose three favorite words are “strategic planning meeting” is not a good one. People don’t study journalism in college because they’re looking forward to all the focus groups and conference calls. Sure those things come with age and experience, as your talents grow and your goals change, and there’s nothing wrong at all with wanting to go for better money. But don’t pretend for a second that once you choose the manager route that you’re not at least a little bit abandoning the principles you needed to get in in the first place. It’s either the integrity or the money. It’s seldom both.