Chris Henry Arrested

I've been in online news for nearly eight years now, and one technique that at one point was urged upon editors was adding related/previous stories to the bottom of a new story.

So, let's say, for example, that an NFL player had a habit of getting in trouble with the law. I know this is probably a poor example, but just play along.

And let's say this player's name is Chris Henry, a wide receiver for the Cincinnati Bengals. He was charged with assault after an alleged incident on Ohio Avenue near where I kept several bars in business at the University of Cincinnati. What a millionaire athlete is doing on Ohio Avenue I'll never know. DUDE, you have a million dollars, go get drunk somewhere that's not a ghetto, and then pay someone $30 to drive you home!

Instead, here's the list of previous stories to give you an idea of how much trouble this dumbass has been in the last two years (h/t wlwt.com:

April 1, 2008: Bengals Receiver Chris Henry In Trouble Again
November 8, 2007: Bengals' Henry Threatened Valet Attendant, Police Say
October 24, 2007: NFL Clears Chris Henry To Begin Practicing With Bengals
October 10, 2007: Judge: Bengals' Henry Didn't Violate Probation
June 15, 2007: Police: No Charges Against Bengals' Henry
June 13, 2007: Investigation Continues Into Teen's Claim Of Henry Assault
May 25, 2007: Prosecutor Won't Apologize, Calls Henry 'Lowlife'
May 23, 2007: Henry Passed Both Drug Tests, Attorney Says
May 21, 2007: Prosecutor: Conflicting Stories About Chris Henry Drug Test
April 23, 2007: Traffic Charges Against Bengal Chris Henry Dropped
April 16, 2007: Bengals' Henry Fined For Traffic Offenses
April 10, 2007: Bengals' Henry Suspended For Eight Games
March 29, 2007: Exclusive: Newport Police Cited Henry In February Incident
March 28, 2007: Henry, Former Teammate To Meet With NFL Commissioner
March 27, 2007: Bengals Henry Cited For Multiple Traffic Violations
January 27, 2007: Bengals' Henry Released From Jail
January 26, 2007: Bengals' Chris Henry In Jail After Guilty Plea
January 12, 2007: Chris Henry's Attorneys Trying To Negotiate Court Cases
October 6, 2006: Henry Suspended Two Games, Fined $20,000
September 26, 2006: Henry Could Face Jail Time After Thurman's Arrest
September 12, 2006: Bengals' Henry Pleads Guilty In Fla. Gun Case
June 20, 2006: Henry Back In Court On DUI Charges
June 15, 2006: Bengals' Henry Pleads Not Guilty On New Charges
June 5, 2006: Bengals Receiver Arrested On DUI Charge
May 4, 2006: Bengals Henry Investigated For Sex Crime, Prosecutor Says
March 22, 2006: Henry Pleads Guilty, Apologizes To Fans

My friend Dave from Cincinnati chimed in with his two cents this morning:

"Why should C. Henry be thrown in jail? Not for assault. Not for drugs. Not for driving badly. He should be locked up for not giving a rat's ass, for being too stupid to see that the only thing keeping him out of jail (so far) AND making him wealthy is football. Seriously, who pisses on a gig in the NFL over and over again?"