See Jane Marry

Moments after walking a gal to her train after our first date over the winter, I got on my own uptown train and stood next to a lovely gal -- we'll call her "Jane" -- who ended up accepting my kind invitation to join her for a drink at 1 a.m.

We've played a little phone and text tag here and there since, usually at times like when we first met. I believe there's a name for those types of calls.

Nothing really materialized, but we do still talk occasionally and say we're going to get together soon, which some friends lately are too clear to remind me is fast becoming my favorite line. Sorry.

Anyway, here was a text Monday night from Jane, who by the way is from Venezuela: "Hi how r u? is jane. Im looking 4 a fake husband just married for business ($$) to make my paper of resident. if u r interesting let me know."

Her mediocre English caused me to jump to two conclusions when I read this: 1) That her English is only mediocre, and 2) she's looking for an American man with some money to help her start a business.

Turns out I was way off. Jane needs a husband, and fast, or else she will be deported.

Now if you scroll down and look in the right rail, you'll see that Debt Valley is around $5,000 and falling.

But Jane says she can drop $8,000 on me if I marry her Friday. She's got a good job and seems to have her act together, and wants to keep it that way. She's here legally, but is now seeking political asylum because, well, wouldn't you if Hugo Chavez ruled your home country?

Jane can't go back to Venezuela because once she's there, she won't be able to leave. She also tells me that she can't have certain documents mailed here by her family because the Chavez regime looks at all outgoing and incoming mail.

Needless to say, that eight grand would come in handy for me. This is all a true story, but what might seem hard to believe is that I'd actually consider it. I probably won't be getting married on Friday or anytime soon, but just wanted to get your reaction.