Max Headroom

Certainly I know enough of the basics of PhotoShop that I can crop the image to the left here, but today's note is to teach a lesson on how to take pictures of people.

There are cameras all over the place nowadays, from the yellow CVS disposables to the 8-or-more megapixel consumer toys that fit nicely in the smallest of gal's handbags or guys' jeans pockets. Cell phones are turning out decent pictures too, except the ones taken by morons who think the ad above a couple's head on a subway -- hypothetically speaking, of course -- is important to the image. So let me offer up a quick tip for you.

If the camera you're using has any kind of zoom function, USE IT! Some have a dial with a 'W' and 'T,' which allows shooters to pull out Wide or go in Tight. Obviously, if you're on the ground in front of the Empire State Building looking skyward, you'll want to go as wide as your camera allows. (And turn the camera vertical, you dumbass tourist!)

But for perhaps the most common of pictures, those taken of friends out at the bar at night, you MUST go in tight. Zoom on in there. Space above someone's head is so unnecessary. If you get your prints back and you're showing them to friends, the last thing you want to hear is, "That's not Gary Coleman."

If your camera doesn't have the W and T dial, there's probably a tiny knob on or near the shutter button that might let you make adjustments with the same finger with which you're pressing the shutter. It's all about convenience.

A year ago or so, when we'd ask friends to take pictures of us, the Baton would give me a hard time for always telling them, "You can zoom in tight. We don't need all that space above our heads." But until people start giving me pictures that I can frame or do something with, you'll continue to hear my snobbery.