Anna Nicole Watch

As another day of Who Gets Anna Nicole's Body? hearings gets set to begin, a national network reporter outside the courthouse in south Florida just uttered the following sentence:

"They're expected to show that video in court today, the video that shows in the background one of those artists you might see at a children's museum. That artist painted Anna Nicole's face like a clown, and Anna Nicole, the former Playboy model, was dressed in a sheet or something and was pushing a stroller around her living room with a doll in it. The man holding the video camera asked her if she was on a mushroom trip, and she was clearly inebriated."

I saw this tape on Wednesday, and it's just another afternoon in the life of a girl, by virtue of her public standing -- deserved or not -- was a role model to teen trailer park whores all the way from east Texas to west Texas and points far beyond.

Back inside the courtroom, what can you say about this judge that hasn't been said about Whitney Houston? This guy is a circus freak who gives dorks like David Blaine license to wonder.

And Britney needs to drown or something.