LIVE BLOG: BCS National Championship Game

I haven't live blogged since Ohio State won at Texas 16 months ago, but I'm not at the game, nor am I at a party. I just inhaled some pasta, I've got some beers here and I'm amped to watch this shite.

And for some reason, Chris Weinke and Danny Wuerffel escorted fellow former Heisman Trophy winner Tony Dorsett to midfield for the incredibly weak pregame coin toss. This happened at 8:20 p.m. ET. More to follow:

8:26 p.m. -- Ohio State's Chris Wells bolts 65 yards for a touchdown on the game's fourth play from scrimmage. I don't want to get too excited about an early big play, because we remember what happened last year after Ted Ginn returned the opening kickoff for a touchdown, but I will say this: The Bucks did not lack speed on that play. Nor did any of them break an ankle during end-zone celebrations.

8:30 p.m. -- Not surprisingly, John Boel calls from a viewing party in Louisville, where the fellas estimated I'd be at BAC .12 by now, but they're all impressed when I tell them I've just finished dinner and haven't even cracked open my first Budweiser just yet. Then LSU puts the finishing touches on an unimpressive three-and-out and punts it back to the Buckeyes.

8:31 p.m. -- Cracked open my first Budweiser.

8:37 p.m. -- A huge pass from Todd Boeckman to Brandon Saine puts OSU in the red zone.

8:45 p.m. -- LSU has the ball and it's 3rd and 6. FOX play-by-play guy Thom Brennaman says, "Third and sex." Hee hee.

8:50 p.m. - 9 p.m. -- Sent out annoying text to friends letting them know about this weak liveblog.

9:13 p.m. -- Still sending out these annoying text messages. Sorry peoples! And in the meantime, LSU has tied the game 10-10 in the second quarter.

9:16 p.m. -- Wells delivers a stiff-arm that would make Peter North proud. First down, Buckeyes!

9:17 p.m. -- Boeckman passes to Brian Robiskie for another OSU first down.

9:27 p.m. -- LSU seems to have settled down and is playing well. The Tigers are moving the ball well after blocking an Ohio State field goal attempt a few minutes earlier.

9:30 p.m. -- LSU goes up, 17-10, and is fully in control of this game. A 10-yard touchdown pass from Matt Flynn to Brandon LaFell puts the Tigers in front.

9:32 p.m. -- I went to the fridge to pick up beer No. 2 and, even though I put on about 10 holiday pounds and I look like Valerie Bertinelli did a year ago, I returned with the beer, and some chips and salsa. Despite my gigantic new gut, I can't guarantee that the ice cream will go untouched later either.

9:52 p.m. -- I've lost a lot of interest in this dumb-ass blog. LSU is up, 24-10, at halftime. And Thom Brennaman is OK for a national-title game. He's done plenty of big MLB and NFL postseason games, but should Charles Davis really be the analyst?

10:02 p.m. -- Could intermission promotions be any more queer? It's so uncomfortable watching Chris Myers -- what happened to him, btw? -- try to get the crowd into a field-goal competition between former OSU and LSU kickers. And after Josh Houston won it for Ohio State, Myers put his microphone in front of him without asking any questions, producing a very awkward "Um, thanks a lot. That was fun."

10:22 p.m. -- LSU looks solid on its first two plays of the second half, unfortunately. I love the 30-minute halftimes.

10:28 p.m. -- Beer No. 3. I am so fat.

10:34 p.m. -- Consecutive personal fouls against OSU turn what should have been a change of possession to another trip to the red zone for LSU. This sucks.

10:37 p.m. -- Three different Buckeyes couldn't bring down a 210-pound LSU wideout, and the score is now 31-10. Now Googling images of Valerie Bertinelli.

10:46 p.m. -- There's seriously nothing to blog about, especially since I'm fielding all kinds of text messages from trash-talking friends. I called out a friend who went to Ohio University, a notorious party school, for being anti-Ohio State. I enjoyed his reply: "Not at all. I went to OU for the weed, not the football."

10:50 p.m. -- Malcolm Jenkins, who's been beaten for at least one of LSU's touchdowns tonight, returns an interception to the LSU 11-yard line. And on 3rd and 1 from the 2 a minute later, Chris Wells is knocked backward for a three-yard loss. I agree with Tressel's call to go for it on 4th down, and it pays off as Boeckman finds Robiskie in the end zone to make the score 31-17 late in the third quarter. Sportswriting is easy when you're in your living room.

11:02 p.m. -- I held my hand up in the air with my fingers pointing skyward, and my thumb tucked underneath. I'm not indicating which quarter is beginning, but I'm letting the fridge know I'm coming for beer No. 4. Sincerely, Rich Decker.

11:03 p.m. -- I vow to begin my New Year's situps tomorrow, or sometime thereafter.

11:23 p.m. -- Is it 9:30 already?

11:29 p.m. -- There's 5:50 left in the fourth quarter, but I think Ohio State thinks it's the third quarter. That's the only explanation I can think of when I see the Buckeyes, trailing by two touchdowns, taking their sweet-ass time.

11:58 p.m. -- If they ever make a movie about Les Miles, I think Kurt Russell has the lead role locked up. Goodnight now.