My New Nickname

I don't think I'm necessarily losing touch, but I will concede that I haven't heard of every semi-new musician or hot actress out there on the scene. And I'll never claim to understand rap culture.

These two facts became simultaneously quite evident when I edited a story about a rapper named C-Murder. Are you fucking kidding me? I realize it's really cool to go by anything other than your real name, and use a 'Z' where an 'S' is part of the correct spelling. Stomping all over the English language has been the norm for nearly 20 yearz now, ya feel me dawg?

But seriously, how does that work at parties? When he's introduced, does he say, "Hello, LeBron, my name is C-Murder. It's a pleasure to meet you." And how will his lawyer get any favorable rulings in his murder re-trial next spring when his argument will have to sound something like, "My client, C-Murder, did not have anything to do with this heinous crime."

When I envisioned these parties where star athletes and entertainers seem to cross paths with greater frequency these days, I wondered what I'd call myself if I put out a rap record. And I think I like Johnny Rapes-A-Lot, but I still welcome your suggestions.

Suggest A New Nickname