Guest Blogger -- Dave

My boy Dave is in Scotland for the Fringe Festival. He's the guy who was busy calling me out for leaving the invite for Carolyn at Nice Matin the minute she walked into my party the other night. I don't know if I told Dave that she and I went out to dinner two nights later. Ahem.

Anyway, Dave's one of the funnier people I've met here in New York, and he's a Louisville native, so that makes him extra cool. And he offers up this dispatch from Scotland . . .

EDINBURGH -- Greetings from Scotland. It's 58 degrees and misty. Every day. No wonder these people drink all day. They also go tanning. There's a castle on a cliff that looms over the whole city. It's quite dramatic. The festival is amazing -- theater, comedy and music from 11 a.m. to 3 a.m. every day. I've seen some cool stuff. The Eagles cover band from Amsterdam was incredible (if they come to NY, I'll alert you). The 50-person ukulele symphony was awesome. The reverse strip tease girls were great. They start naked and get dressed to music -- very hot. And a guy who does every line and scene from the "Star Wars" trilogy by himself in an hour.

Our play is being well received. We're known as the rich New York crew. Word spread around the festival about the mansion we're staying in and how we have sit-down catered lunches and dinners with a private chef and maid. We also have a wine cellar. We're putting away 15 bottles a night.

Scottish girls are ugly, but after drinking 380 pints of ale and 3 pounds of haggis, I'm not looking too good either.

The guys here have shaved heads and look like they want to punch you all the time.

I can't understand the damn accent. It sounds polish or Lithuanian.

We're going to a Scottish Premier League soccer game this week. Either the Hearts or the Hibs, whoever they are.

They seem to like New Yorkers, but kind of hate the rest of Americans.

The new part of town here was built in 1788.

Pints are about 5 bucks.

I have not watched TV for 8 days, a record for me.