RIP

I know this will sadden many, but the PUMA bag (seen at rest here in a 2006 file photo) has been put down.

After more than five years of serving as a great utility whilst causing me great ridicule, this thing just got torn to shreds and is now in a garbage can.

I bought it in Singapore for a very cheap price, and I felt very Euro when I used it, but many thought it was too reminiscent of a bowling bag. That didn't stop me, though, as I merely shrugged off the locker-room insults from Ohio- and Kentucky-based critics who somehow thought they were qualified to evaluate my tremendous fashion sense.

Its replacement so far hasn't exactly been what I'm looking for in an over-the-shoulder bag, but I couldn't possibly have expected similar results.

Good night, PUMA bag. Godspeed.