Valet Jobs Open Doors For All-Girl Staffs

Exploitation, objectification or innovation?

That's the obvious question when debating the merits of all-female valet parking staffs.

That is, if such a debate were to take place.

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High-Priced Chase

I never know why morons dare to challenge law enforcement with a high-speed chase on a highway or through city streets. The latest police pursuit went down in Houston this morning, and, as usual, the cops won.

But it did get me to thinking that during a typical week of news, we seem to live stream at least one such chase. Today's was the first, however, that I could remember in quite a while, so I can't help but wonder if the high gas prices are even affecting certain types of crime.

Booming Bubble Business

At some point, broadcasting companies did enough research -- or so they thought -- to feel justified in bringing news into your living rooms more often than at 6 and 11.

Morning shows were lengthened. The 6 o'clock news suddenly started to begin at 5, and in some markets 4. The noon show was created and then expanded. And some stations offer a 10 o'clock news instead of or in addition to their late news shows.

And oh yeah, those 24-hour cable news networks.

All this because our selfish, I-want-it-now culture demands it.

Don't get me wrong. Immediacy certainly has its perks, especially in TV and online news. You think anyone got the news about the Virginia Tech bloodbath by picking up this morning's paper? Me neither.

But such urgency also means more information travels faster, and to quote a network pretty from Monday afternoon, "Information is coming in, and some of it is accurate." Hooray!

Now that we've had almost a whole 24 hours of wall-to-wall on this awful tragedy, the experts feel it's time to chime in. Gun control reform, some scream, while others demand the firings of the university president and the police chief, among other high-ranking people.

This kills me.

When unthinkable crimes like mass shootings take place, it takes a while to turn numerous accounts from eyewitnesses and purported eyewitnesses into the confirmed facts of the case. On the surface, it does appear that the school suffered from a mild case of inaction.

But again, until the facts of the case are determined, don't so simply urge for the president to be immediately removed. What should he have done? Reach into his backpack for his trusty "Campus Mass-Shootings Survival Guide," and flip to page 72 for tips on handling such an occurrence?

Hmmm, says here that if he shoots up a dorm, in all likelihood he'll end up at the classroom building on the other side of the field. We'd better get some security over there.

Seriously, would a different university president have prevented this from happening?

Unfortunately, such tragedies are becoming all too common, but fortunately, not yet common enough that only a handful of colleges have had to endure them. It's still new to a lot of people, and there's no way a school president can be expected to protect 30,000 students at all times.

Maybe at freshman orientation, he can hand out bullet-proof bubbles to all incoming students so they can stay safe from future dangers.

Perhaps they can do that at all schools, or maybe at all sporting events across the globe, wherever tens of thousands of people are gathered in one location. I'm sure we'd end up commercializing our bullet-proof bubbles with monogramming and Louis Vuitton logos and so forth. It could be a booming bubble business!

I'd like to ramble more, but I've got some news to write. You've demanded it.

In The News . . .

+ I have only one reaction to disciplinary action taken against former NBA star and current CBA coach Michael Ray Richardson's anti-Semitic remarks: They're still playing basketball in the CBA?

+ Michelle Branch should be less concerned with her stalker who was arrested this week at one of her shows in Sheboygan, Wis., and more concerned with the fact that she's playing shows in Sheboygan, Wis.

Ego Blow

One of the most blatant blows to the ego in a news environment is when a manager walks past you as he or she is escorting a new reporter/anchor candidate around the newsroom.

The manager will introduce the candidate -- often a clean-cut, well-suited man or a finely figured gal with made-for-TV hair -- to the important people only, other on-air folks, executive producers, maybe some show producers, other management types.

But the guy in jeans with a gnarly crop and three days of facial hair just gets passed in even the tightest of corridors without receiving so much as eye contact from the manager who would otherwise ask how the national news editor is doing.

Perhaps in this specific case, the manager was aware of said editor's proclivity toward Asian gals and steered his candidate far and fast in another direction.

And case you're wondering, yes, I am the neglected national editor in this story.