Review: St. Patrick's Day

I'm not a big parade guy, and I probably didn't get into my first NYC St. Patrick's Day the way I was expecting to, but I still had an oustanding time.

It was just XBox and I over at The Ginger Man in Midtown. In previous years, I'd hit Chicago, or if I'm in the hometown, I'd do some bar-hopping with a sizable group of friends, and take in the world's best sporting event on the big screens -- March Madness. Usually I'd get started pretty early.

But Saturday, we hit the bar at about 5 p.m. and left after 10, if I'm not mistaken. And there's a good chance that I am.

(Blame the late start on Xavier's admirable effort in forcing overtime with No. 1 seed Ohio State. Had to watch that one alone at the crib.)

Once we got to the bar, however, volume seemed to be the early priority, but not by choice. XBox said something about a Hoegaarden -- (Check out the backyard; what do you think of my ho garden?) -- so I ordered two of those when the hurried barmaid finally approached. Considering the occasion and the subsequent crowd size, indecisiveness, typically one of my most noticeable qualities, should not have been an option here. But XBox is charming and attractive, so she can get away with it here. She didn't like the looks of the Hoegaarden when she approached the line, so she audibled to a Michelob Ultra, and I was left being double-fisted with still two hours of daylight left, typically not a move that allows me to be standing at the end of the evening.

We found a comfortable spot at the back bar and watched some games on the one small TV there, but didn't have to wait too long when we were in need of fresh beverages. We met a couple who, as it turned out, knew some people XBox knew. The diversion was fine, as it allowed me to direct my attention to the games while she conversed with our new friends.

I also tried to leave some of those audio blogs that y'all love so much, in order to keep track of my worsening condition. But I actually didn't get too sloppy, so there will be no such postings. I figure this blog entry has been entertaining enough.

Weekend Recap

After XBox Girl's ADD combined with a weak storyline, we had to turn off "The Black Dahlia" on Friday night, but the rest of the weekend introduced me to a couple of firsts around the city.

Saturday, I watched my first beer pong tournament. I'd heard of the drinking sport for years, but had never played nor even witnessed such an event. I expected to be surrounded by Fraternity Frank and Sorority Sue, but the crowd was surprisingly older than college age, which was nice. The scene went down at Turtle Bay Grill And Lounge at 52nd and 2nd. I went there to meet my dude Jason and some of his people. Jason is a PR guy who's organizing a mission trip to Africa in 2008 in which I'm expecting to take part, and he was among the combatants in this beer pong competition.

Remember the Dick In A Box video? Well, Jason and his teammate Mike lost in the second round to two guys sporting, um, dicks in boxes. It's true; they had boxes somehow fastened to their belts and every time Jason or Mike was preparing to throw the ball, one or both of the other guys distracted them with pelvic, box-covered thrusts. Sophomoric no doubt, but entertaining nonetheless.

After the loss, we ended up downstairs where we watched the bartender pour himself a drink for seemingly each one he served. Then two gals named Heather and Meredith, names of my two most serious ex-girlfriends, came over and despite my 10 days of orange facial hair, seemed to think I looked safe enough to talk to.

A short time later, we ended up next door at Opal, where a pub crawl (called a bar crawl up here) was visiting. Even though it was only 7 o'clock or so, it was packed with drinkers. Jason and Mike both have girlfriends and live in New Jersey, so they finished a beer each, quite quickly, and had to head for the train. I'd just come back inside the bar -- my cell phone was blowing up, you see -- and they were walking out, handed me Meredith's beer, as she was in the restroom, and told me she'd be right back.

Sure enough, Meredith never returned, and when I looked for her girl Heather, who 15 minutes earlier was seated at the bar, becrutched with a broken wheel, she too was nowhere to be found. Clearly I looked like someone whose friends had ditched, so three bar crawl gals sitting at a nearby table invited me to make them laugh. Can it seriously be this easy?

Anyway, I split about a half hour later and it was nice to be in bed by 10 or 10:30 on a Saturday night.

My early bedtime yielded an early rise on Sunday morning, so I hustled down to Trader Joe's at 14th Street. The joint opens at 9 a.m., and I arrived only minutes later, yet this place was already a zoo.

I once walked into Trader Joe's in Chicago with Marcus, but never had I gone there to shop for myself. This story doesn't get much better. In fact, it's never been quite good, but I just wanted to express that I'd lost my Trader Joe's virginity this weekend.

Ohio State plays Wisconsin today. That should be a good game.

Weekend Recap ... Tardy Again

So Xbox Girl and I rolled over to the Guggenheim last Friday for their monthly First Friday gathering. It was my second time there, her first. Good time. It should have cost me four tickets to buy two drinks, but I accidentally handed the guy just two tickets for the first round, so I tried to get the same discount from the same guy for round two, and sure enough it worked. Six days later, I'm realizing how much better my life is by having saved those tickets.

Once is a mistake or perhaps an act of generosity on behalf of the bartender. A second time, at least in an uppity atmosphere like the Guggenheim, clearly was this guy's way of saying he liked me, or at least my new glasses. I'd told Xbox that I've been hit on by more gay men than by women, and I think she's starting to see the evidence.

Nonetheless, it seemed like a splendid evening until Saturday morning. I woke up sick as a dog and only this morning am I feeling close to 100 percent. For four days I was achy and coughy and just plain miserable. And poor Xbox had to take Tuesday off because she was feeling ill as well. But she told me Wednesday that once she started looking at pictures of me, she quickly regained her strength and felt much better.

Saturday, I watched "Little Miss Sunshine," which was outstanding. Steve Carell was excellent, as was Greg Kinnear. The little girl who's gotten plenty of buzz the last six months kind of annoyed me until her routine at the end of the movie. A little bit of a surprise, but quite entertaining. And her big brother Duane showed he was on the verge of becoming likable when he wrote "Go Hug Mom" on his notepad, but reverted to his cynical ways not long after when he got some bad news. By the end of the movie, however, his transformation made him my favorite character in the play.

I should have watched LMS after "A Scanner Darkly," not before it, because even in animation, Keanu Reeves cannot act. That movie was far less than what I was expecting or at least hoping for. Robert Downey Jr. usually delivers and Woody Harrelson seldom disappoints. Neither got it done this time and I regret the two hours it took me to realize that. Don't waste your time here.

Weekend Recap ... A Little Tardy

The gal about whom I wrote in a less than flattering manner recently, causing a case of self-censorship here, will now be referred to as Xbox Girl.

Last Friday night, she and I saw "The Departed," which we both enjoyed for the most part. Since the movie's been out for four or five months, I'm not worried about ruining things for you, but let's just say a lot of people were shot in the head, crimes that left awfully bloody results.

My parents saw the movie shortly after it came out in the fall, and my mom said other than the violence, it was a good movie. I figured she was just being a mom with such an assessment about the violence. But it truly was pretty bloody.

I'd never really understood the hype around Leonardo DiCaprio. I can think of plenty better actors, even better-looking leading men types. But his effort in "The Departed" was outstanding. Also good to see Matt Damon in a darker role, his abilities in such I've forgotten about since his Jason Bourne heroics of late.

Jack Nicholson played an outstanding psychopath, certainly not a stretch for him, and Alec Baldwin had a line or two that kept things light. Throw in a little Martin Sheen and Mark Walhberg, and sprinkle in a dash of Martin Scorsese directing, and this thing truly met the gargantuan potential a project with such a cast had set for itself. Go see it now before the Oscars.

I'm told DiCaprio is even better in Blood Diamond, so that's probably next on the list.

Xbox had had a late one the night before, so we were just looking for something low key for Friday. I presumed we'd call it a night after the late movie we saw, but we ended up at the Gael Pub on 3rd Ave. for a couple drinks. We were both taken aback when a drunk guy -- albeit a handsome one -- stumbled toward her and introduced himself to Xbox, right in front of me, shook her hand and then split.

Xbox later showed me a napkin on which he'd scribbled his name and number. Always a pretty respectful move. He should have used my pick-up line below.

I think I told you about my computer problems? My motherboard is fried, so last weekend I was trying to figure out how much money that I don't have that I was going to need to spend on a new one. And when I woke up Saturday, I reached into my coat pocket and found my glasses in two pieces. I guess I stepped on them the night before as the coat lay on the floor. Isn't that where you keep yours?

Fast Forward -- Health benefits at the new job rock. It only cost me at total of $91 for the doctor's appointment and new pair of glasses. I just have to wait another five or six days before I can pick up the glasses.

But back to Saturday, I had the Chinese acupuncturist, Rica, help me put my glasses back together in a mostly half-assed way. The glasses truly split in two, almost perfectly, so I held the pieces toghether while she taped them. I can't always understand what she says, but I did know what she meant when she showed me a picture of her 27-year-old daughter a month or so ago and asked if I'd like to marry her. This is coming from a 60-year-old woman who has seen me naked.

The daughter speaks no English and lives in China. Decisions, decisions.

But the rest of the day, I just hung out at the apartment and enjoyed night-time viewings of Ohio State basketball and portions of two movies I'd already seen more than once. I'm certainly a loser, and if I'd forgotten that fact, I was reminded of it when the glasses started to slip apart while I dozed on the couch. As I was trying to figure out if it was after 12 a.m. or 2 a.m. on the digital cable clock, I sat up and realized that my vision troubles were being caused by the glasses that were somehow sitting on my face though no longer being held together in one piece by Rica's tape job.

Sunday must not have been eventful because I remember nothing about it.