My Year In Review, Part II

(In case you missed Part I)

Are you like me? Do you let email pile up? Be it your work or personal inbox, do you do a poor job of filing, saving and deleting? I do. And with about six weeks left in my job at FOX, I found myself staring at an inbox that had 7,800 emails in it. I had to do something.

And what did I do?

I thought of you. Yeah, that's right. I thought of you.

I went through all of those emails and set aside some funny stuff, and just a few other good ones, with an eye on the end of the year. So just when you thought you'd read every Year-Ender list, here's one more. The best of my 7,800 emails that didn't get deleted. Enjoy!

+ I forget exactly how many seconds after John McCain's VP selection announcement that this site went up.

+ More than you'll ever need to know about penile fracture.

+ brokedickdog sent in a great video of a dude nearly breaking his neck doing the traditional Preakness Stakes Urinal Run. I tried to go back there the other day, but the video was taken offline. I searched on YouTube, and found a decent consolation.

+ For fans of top-quality music videos. I'm pretty sure Wall sent this one in.

+ If Arun sends in something from The Onion, shall we attribute Arunion?

+ Cool slideshow of New York, with narration, also from Arun.

+ Can't remember who sent me this short note in 2008:

"Good to hear from you, John! Hope all is well. Right when you can."

+ And some silliness from Mom over the summer:

"Is it okay for me to call Cindy McCain an airhead?"

+ Intern Kevin kept things light for us at FIM over the summer.

+ I think LA Sue sent this to me.

+ Inspiring words from my boy Lee in California:

"Take care of yourself John…and remember…life is short…don’t be a slave to just survive…do what you love and you’ll find everything you need."

+ An email from one of my dudes in Cincinnati, who would probably prefer to remain nameless here. We both enjoy making fun of the business I work in:

Jon Stewart's name for dumbass TV reporters who don hip waders and do live shots in flood waters: "human dipsticks."

Make sure you get that list of July 4 safety tips ready for the web page, Wise. I want to make sure I know how to not blow myself up.

My old TV finally died about a month ago, so I had to buy a new one. Kinda the first time I've watched hi-def on a regular basis..... Let's just say HD doesn't do any favors for (Ken) Broo or Kit Andrews.

I know Denise Richards has a seat on your plane-crash plane..... I was never really sure why, but I trust your judgment. But now, I'm watching her reality show on E.....it's all becoming clear to me. At the same time, I can't stop watching it. She's such an idiot."

+ My friend Lee sends me lots of links, and I'm usually at work and in the middle of things so his contributions often fall by the wayside. But this is an excellent read if you have a few minutes.

+ brokedickdog or Wall sent this in. It is excellent. Watch it now if you can. NSFW.

+ Genius marketing from the 1970s.

+ Odd imports usually come from brokedickdog.

+ "While making small talk with an older female patient, she mentioned that the "Kentucky Jelly" on her breakfast tray had a very strange taste. When I asked to see the jelly, the woman handed me a foil packet labeled 'KY Jelly.'" More similar stories here.

+ Bad motorcycle wreck. I hate the unfunny "wait for it" line, but seriously, wait for it.

+ Another goodie from brokedickdog.

+ Outstanding video in real-time, but stick around for the slow-motion replays.

+ Complete morons can be seen right here.

+ Sweet mugshots.

+ Don't be this person.

+ No surprise here.

+ A Cubs fan does something cool.

+ From Wall, regarding my Celebrity Plane Crash:

"If Clemens is not already on that bad boy, get him some first class reservations."

+ From my boy Dave in Cincinnati:

Props to Kristin finding the perfect birfday card for me. On the front: a picture of two women talking:

"Where's your birthday party at?"
"Don't end a sentence with a preposition."

(Open card, same photo on the inside)

"Where's your birthday party at, bitch?"

+ This is not from 2008, but you should watch it anyway.

+ If you know my man Frank from FOX, you know he's incredibly nice and polite, and certainly he doesn't try too hard to be funny. Which makes his stuff even funnier. I sent this email to a friend at some point this year:

"Some building maintenance dudes are doing some work in our small-ish area on Monday. So seven of them (all wearing union sweatshirts, old jeans, workboots) felt the need to come down just now and have 7 different conversations for 10 minutes, as they examined the wall they’re going to knock down or whatever, then they split after about 10 minutes. The wall is where this one, tiny, TI-99-looking printer from 1980 is stationed. When the guys were filing out, my dude Frank says, “Did you guys fix the paper jam?"

+ Another note from Dave in Cincinnati:

"Wichita....... The city for people who find Cincinnati too stimulating."

+ I never get tired of watching live news gone wild, especially in a 3-minute compilation format.

+ From John in Cincinnati:

"Did I ever tell you guys about the people who had indoor/outdoor carpeting for a yard? It was on my street when I grew up. We drove by one time and the lady was out there in her bath robe, smoking a cigarette, VACUUMING the front yard."

+ From brokedickdog:

A Tale Of Enchantment

A Fairy Tale...

One day, long, long ago....... there lived a woman who did not

whine, nag or bitch.

But this was a long time ago....... and it was just that one day.

+ Don't be the first guy to pass out in front of your friends.

My Year In Review, Part I

Tiresome are the lists re-capping the best sports stories of the year or the most bizarre photos. Every single news site has every single list imaginable, but one thing I don't necessarily see too often is bloggers posting their own personal year-enders. I suppose that's mostly because no one cares. But I've been away for too long, as the new job is a great challenge and leaves me exhausted at the end of each day, unable to post.

So, herewith, are my five most memorable days of 2008:

+ Friday, Jan. 18 -- Wall Hits The Big Apple: Ohio bud Jeff Gluck was in New York for work one week in January. Fellow Buckeye Troy Freel, the proudest Bayonne resident you'll ever meet, came into the city for a day of food, drink and laughter. The fellas were a little overserved, so they crashed on my spacious living-room floor after we had one last drink on the roof with an interesting new friend we met on the subway.

+ Friday, May 9 -- Barry, Zack and Jason Hit The Big Apple: I met Barry and Jason about 20 years ago in Cincinnati, and we've been good buds ever since. Barry's in San Francisco now, but we planned a New York weekend for almost a year. We kicked it for a few days, but Friday was probably the best, as we hit Alex Grey's Chelsea studio, ran up a $200 bar bill in just a couple hours at Molly's Wee Pub and then threw down at Anthony Bourdain's joint Les Halles.

+ Friday, April 18 -- Amanda and Friends Hit The Big Apple: Great friend Amanda van Rooyen and some of her out-of-town friends meet once a year for a girls weekend reunion, and this year New York was lucky to have them. An afternoon rooftop drink or three led to a lazy walk in sunny Central Park before the girls split for dinner. I caught back up with them at my favorite SoHo bar, Pravda, for a long night of vodka reviews.

+ Saturday, March 1 -- Alli Hits the Big Apple: I met Alli in aisle 6 at the Kroger on Bardstown Road in Louisville back in 2004. We'd been in touch here and there, but never really hung out until she visited in February. The Saturday of her visit took us to the Guggenheim, Canal Street for a fake designer bag, dinner at Lattanzi and drinks at the Pig and Whistle.

+ Friday, July 18 -- Pat Kuhl and Crew Hit the Big Apple: Pat, Eric and Tim brought their Louisville act up to New York because they're dorky baseball fans who wanted to take in Yankee Stadium before it was torn down. The Saturday game was plenty fun, but I think I enjoyed Friday better. Dinner at Eletarria, then drinks at the B Bar, PJ Clarke's and the Auction House preceded a late pizza run. This time, three dudes crashed in my living room, eclipsing the previous mark set months earlier by Gluck and Freel.

OK, so that list seemed to be about other people visiting New York. Let's talk about me now for a minute. Below are my three other favorite days of the year.

+ Saturday, Sept. 6: Just returned from a productive and satisfying two weeks on the road covering political conventions, and little more than 24 hours after my arrest at the RNC, I woke up well-rested in my own bed on a Saturday morning. My first task was to watch Ohio State play on the big screens at Blondie's. I then came back to the crib with my boy Steve as new friend Jema was setting up her party at my apartment. Her friends started to arrive late in the afternoon during that terrible downpour you might remember. Many drinks later, we left for the train to get down to Vig 27, my first visit to that cool bar. I'd heard reports that the fun continued there and afterward.

+ Saturday, Aug. 9: Great friend Frank and me like to meet for a beer every now and then. And on one aimless summer Saturday afternoon with no schedule of which to be mindful, we hooked up at the very cool Cafe Noir. Of course a beer turned into two and then of course a third. We sat at a table next to a huge open window, next to a cool pianist named Lon Kaiser, who was awaiting the arrival of the beautiful woman he was going to marry in just seven short days. Overall, Frank and me were there for a good four or five hours, and of course one of the waitresses coughed up the digits and asked for an invitation when I told her I like to plan frequent parties. Surprise, surprise; she turned out to be a complete flake. Nonetheless, Frank and me had an excellent time, and, he being of stronger judgment than I, called it a night when we left. I, however, hustled home, showered the buzz of myself, and went back out to some rooftop party to meet up with my boy Dave. It was there that we met leggy Meggie, the gal I photographed in my luxurious home studio in November.

+ Saturday, Nov. 8: After months of those we-need-to-have-a-beer types of conversations with my boy Miles, we finally committed to meeting out one night at Lucy. He and his lovely wife, Rachel, brought their darling friend Elisa, who told me on our most recent date that Nov. 8 was the date we met. Nearly eight weeks later, I'm meeting her family on Saturday. I'd better get a shave.

Review: Comedy Night

My charming friend Meggie was kind enough to accept my invitation to see two of my friends perform stand-up at Gotham Comedy Club Thursday night.

I've seen buds Dave Balutanski and Brian Sloan perform there once before, and was looking forward to this occasion because Dave's email blast promised familar jokes and even some new shit.

Dave has a great bit where he's verbally accosted by some Chelsea passersby who accuse him loudly of being a homo. When Dave denies, one of the thugs screams, "Prove it."

I presume it's much easier to prove you do prefer the company of men, especially in Chelsea, but is there a convenient gesture to prove you're not gay to some street punks 30 feet away?

Dave gave a sarcastic flex-n-growl and had the house howling.

Brian seemed a little nervous before the show. I came to this conclusion after seeing his sweaty face and hearing him say, "Dude, I'm pretty nervous man," or something like that. I should seriously consider detective work on the side.

But Brian delivered a great real-life tale that he told using a pretty simple prop: a printed-out, several-line email from his erstwhile boss who cited a lack of professional compatibility as the reason behind her decision to fire him in recent weeks. Death by email is far from cool, but the bitch seemed to have accidentally sent it early because it ended with this: "...in Septem"

A nice surprise was when Jim Gaffigan showed up and gave a very smooth 15-minute set that drew plenty of hearty laughter. He's kind of got some Brian Regan in him in that he keeps the language clean -- he seems to enjoy observing the language as well -- and you can tell he likes to analyze the odd things people say and do while trying to pass them off as normal behavior. Like camping.

Anyway, I've been a fan of his since he was doing Rolling Rock commercials at least a decade ago, and he's now on a pretty decent TBS sitcom called "My Boys."

After all that, we ran down the street afterward and watched that excellent Red Sox comeback at Jake's Saloon.

Review: SlyDial.com

For work Thursday, I had to review SlyDial.com, a tool that lets you call friends without really calling them.

Confused? Then check this out.

Review: Weekend Of Debauchery

Old friends visited from Louisville this weekend, and thanks to that bluegrass connection, we got taken care of very nicely at Elettaria, an opened-this-year joint in the village that occupies a West 8th Street address once home to a club at which Jimi Hendrix played.

Our boy Eric knows the chef there, Akhtar, also a Louisville native. Our table of four started with three appetizers and I think we got five. All were excellent, but I especially recommend the scallops (celery root puree, oxtail, lemon, cilantro) and the fried quail (pomegranate molasses, bacon, fried egg).

The entrees were just as memorable. Everyone but me shared a little; I tried a bite of the duck (tender, flavorful) and the bavette (my least favorite, though not bad). I, however, had the pork loin, which by nature is obviously a semi-salty meat. But prepared a little on the sweet side Friday made it the best dinner I'd had in quite some time.

These accomplishments were created in a wide-open kitchen at the back of the restaurant. Between it and the front door, all booths and tables were full less than 30 minutes after we were seated for our 8 p.m. reservation.

The atmosphere was excellent, and the crowd seemed a good mix of city pretties and more savvy restaurant veterans. Isn't that always the case?

I was so caught up in the good food and conversation with old buds that I don't even remember if they played music. The expensive bottles of wine Eric and Tim bought probably played a small role as well.

After this face-feeding session, it was off to the Bowery Bar, PJ Clarke's and the Auction House. My friend Diane and some of her girls were out and were good sports, especially once Tim assured them finish-line tickets at next year's Derby.

There's not much to say about Saturday. We hit the Yankees game, which really was the purpose of the visit for these friends. First pitch: 1 o'clock. Temperature: officially, hot as hell.

We did our part to hydrate; that's for sure. And we spilled over to a bar across the street from the stadium once the ninth inning ended in a tie. Extra innings, my ass.

And then here's how the rest of the day went: Came back, picked up pizza, fell asleep, woke up, showered and then Pat, Eric and Tim went out. I was staying in.

For an hour.

So I caught back up with them and we hit the bars at both W hotels, then of course the Coffee Shop for last call. At the second W (The Living Room Lounge),, the four of us had an awkwardly boring exchange with four gals out on a bachelorette party.

Have you ever met someone and before you ask where she's from, you just have a feeling she calls Connecticut home? Well, that's what happened at this place, and it was as comfortable as a Michael Scott pep talk. I actually liked it, watching the dainty priss squirm with her BFFs. Dude, it's OK to say hello. Not everyone is hitting on you.

Perhaps worse than that moment was one round earlier, in the basement of some overcrowded joint, where we wondered what was taking Eric so long to get us drinks at the bar. So I tightened the chinstrap and went in, finding Eric finalizing the payment for four filled-to-the-rim martini glasses. Only these martinis were pink. That's right, four guys out on the town, drinking cosmopolitans, pinkies raised and everything. "Dorks And The City," coming to a theater near you this summer.

We capped off a good weekend of partying by picking up some very late Hot & Crusty and cramming it on the roof. The neighbor with no blinds across the street wasn't yet home.

Review: Comedy Time

I went to see a friend do stand-up comedy at Caroline's in midtown Monday night. I was pretty surprised when "Saturday Night Live" veteran Darrell Hammond was called to the stage after the opening comic.

Hammond was pretty funny. He said he hadn't done stand-up in a while, so perhaps he's working on some new material or something. I laughed out loud after a few of his jokes, including this one: "I recently gave up drinking after I finally realized I'd been spending too much time in this huge bar called ... Mexico."

And although comedy-show hosts usually annoy the shit out of anyone, and Monday's was no exception, he did offer one funny one: "I read the other day that scientists discovered a mysterious white substance on Mars. In a related story, Amy Winehouse was seen packing her bags and looking into flights."

Review: Weekend Of Debauchery

A highly anticipated weekend with the fellas unfolded just the way I expected -- beer and food and lots of childish locker-room humor.

Barry and Zack came in from San Francisco and Jason came in from Cincinnati. Troy lives just over in Bayonne, but the Upper East Side was headquarters for all of us for a few days. A fun time for sure, but let's just say the air quality in my luxury apartment is a little better now that nearly two full days have passed since the debauchery.

After a low-key bite and some beers on Thursday night, Jason and I met the other three early Friday down at what I thought was going to be the uninteresting studio of Alex Grey. I'm typically not into any art form inspired by fantasy, sci-fi, supernatural or metaphysical. But I trusted Jason's judgment and kept an open mind, and it was certainly worth the visit.

Grey's Chapel of Sacred Mirrors offers quite a unique experience. Even though my eyes weren't fully recovered from our walk there -- we got caught in the rain and my unmanly hair product was dripping down my forehead and burning my eyes -- they were well enough to appreciate the tour of the chapel.

After we admired the art for at least a half hour, we spoke to the friendly receptionist, who was rather forthcoming about the artist, his experiences and his work. There was plenty of literature at her desk about various workshops and social events. "We're a psychedelic community," she said, prompting a fresh line of jokes and commentary from her five idiot visitors.

"When's his next party?" I asked.

As it turns out, there are some goings-on this month that I just might attend. Please stay tuned.

So we were way down in Chelsea and trying to figure out where to go and what to do next. It wasn't quite 3 p.m., and we had an 8 o'clock dinner reservation at Sparks.

Four hours later, and about an hour after calling to move the Sparks reservation to Saturday, we stumbled out of Molly's Wee Pub and meandered over to another restaurant Barry was hoping to find, Anthony Bourdain's Les Halles.

I won't even give you the particulars -- we ordered one of everything -- but just take my word for it: If you're with a lively group and you want to spend a few bucks and eat well, definitely hit Les Halles. Especially if Barry is in control of the menu ... and the bill. It was a complete food orgy from start to finish, and the service and atmosphere matched the meal. And the wine. And the dessert.

Saturday was fairly predictable. After consecutive nights of soaking large amounts of food with large amounts of vodka and draft beer, the group was feeling a little, shall we say, sluggish?

Jason and I met the others at O'Reilly's Pub, typically where Troy and I have met when he's had Rangers or Knicks tickets at the Garden right around the corner. This time, though, the afternoon beer wasn't going down for any of us the way it did the previous day. It had to be because of the bar.

So we rolled down to SoHo to grab a beer at The Spring Lounge, and the sluggishness continued. The visit was brief. We all parted ways and agreed to meet at Sparks a couple hours later in Midtown. The service was good, but I've had better steak in more energetic places. Nonetheless, Barry wanted to try it out and he again footed most of the bill, so overall, it was nice to hit three reputable restaurants in one week while he was here. I'd rank them like this: 1) Les Halles, 2) Mesa Grill, 3) Sparks.

TNT Ain't AOK

I've never been a huge fan of TNT's sports coverage, but my Cavs started their Eastern Conference semifinals Tuesday night at Boston, so I obviously have no other choice.

And TNT showed it's just like every other sports broadcaster just before tipoff.

I never know why directors call for prolonged tight shots of the coaches on their respective benches as the players take the floor. Especially in a Cleveland-Boston series, where you have such star power, including two of the top four vote-getters for the NBA's MVP Award today. I want to see players shake hands and pound fists and say a quick hello and maybe even talk some trash.

Congrats to Mike Brown and Doc Rivers for owning many nice suits and leading their teams to the second round of the playoffs, but I don't need to see those guys.

Review: Mesa Grill

Old dude Barry is in town this week. He's a big restaurant guy, and has been talking for two months about how we had to try Mesa Grill, near Union Square, and Sparks, in the 40s on the East Side.

So we hit up Mesa Grill -- a Bobby Flay joint -- last night and we were both only moderately impressed. Solid atmosphere, both for happy-hour bar scene (nice for a Monday night) as well as for keeping the dining room packed until later. And this isn't a small place.

Barry got the lamb and I ordered the Mahi Mahi. It was pretty entertaining watching big restaurant dude get the rap down with our server, who was better than competent, but brought only a get-the-job-done attitude, not necessarily an I'm-incredibly-happy-to-be-here-tonight approach.

If there was one slip, the server did come out and hope to set our entrees down, but our appetizer plates hadn't been cleared away so the food went back into the kitchen for at least five minutes. That affected both of our dishes, each of which was a little on the dry side after sitting under a lamp.

And if you're down in Union Square at night, you can't not stop in the Coffee Shop. So we went there for one and then had a last drink uptown at Wicker Park.

We'll hit Sparks on Friday.

Review: Tough Guy

Excellent article right here.

Weekend Review

Flew into Cleveland Thursday night. My boy John Charlton, who lives in Hartford, met me in Baltimore for our connecting flight.

Flirting with the rental-car lady got me an upgrade to the very feminine Jeep Liberty. A white one. All I needed then was a butch haircut and an LPGA tour exemption.

But the Cleveland trip meant the sale of my car was being finalized. Surprisingly quick and painless on Friday morning.

What is not quick and painless is the treatment Mike is getting. My stepdad today begins the sixth and -- thankfully -- final week of radiation for his cancer. I was obviously glad to see him, but I wish there was more I could do. Mom is doing a great job taking care of him between treatments. The last couple of weeks have been especially difficult for Mike, whose spirits were strong until recently. Mom says the doctors think he'll be back to being himself near the end of summer. Hang in there, Mike. Both of my readers are praying for you!

So after John and I parted ways, I took the Liberty down Interstate 71 on a gorgeous Friday afternoon to Cincinnati. I picked the right day to be off work. It was the first time I was able to listen to Jim Rome in quite a while, and it just happened to be the day of his annual smack-off. Just when I was getting far enough out of Cleveland to lose the signal, I was close enough to Columbus to pick it back up. My boy Dave in Cincinnati and I spent most of the show texting each other our reviews of the calls, many of which were quite entertaining.

An old flame met me at my hotel in Cincinnati, and after I shot some city views from Devou Park, we ran down to meet friends at the Cock and Bull in Covington's Main Strasse area. I'd post some pictures of the evening, but most are either embarrassing or incriminating. But I will say it was nice of them to serve up my vodka-tonics in pilsner glasses. That's why I only ordered four of them.

Saturday was nice and lazy like Friday. I drove around and took a few more pictures -- I'm trying to plan another photography show in Cincinnati this summer, so that's why I was shooting the city -- then got on the road for Louisville to see friends there.

Mexican for lunch and pizza for dinner once I got to Louisville probably wasn't the best thing I could have done for my stomach if I was planning to go out with friends again that night. If toilets had ears, I'd apologize to my friend Patrick's restroom in St. Matthews.

Some Louisville friends met Patrick and I out at Brendan's, which has become fairly clubbish since I was last there. I need to find a better bar for these occasional reunions.

Sunday went off just as Sundays typically do when trying to fly back to New York. A flight delay here, a lost bag there, a 40-minute line for a cab to the city. But I made some new friends so it wasn't entirely miserable.

Once I got in -- without my toothbrush that was packed in my unreceived bag, of course -- I finally got to bed at about midnight, just in time to get four hours of sleep before the first day of what looks to be a more-demanding-than-usual week at work. Happy Monday, y'all!

Review: How To Date A Male Model

I dated a gal who left a magazine at my apartment a couple months ago. I was cleaning up the crib the other day and saw the February copy of "Elle," a magazine I typically wouldn't read, but when Jessica Alba is on the cover and looking like, well, Jessica Alba, one might be inclined to take a peek.

So I skipped past the "Lose Those Last Five Pounds" and "What About HIS Orgasm?" stories and came across one interestingly entitled, "How To Date A Male Model."

I've occasionally made reference here to my hopes long, long ago of becoming a male model -- ask me about the toothpaste story! -- though we know how that hair-brained enterprise ended. And while I'm not personally trying to date a male model, I figured Min Katrina Lieskovsky's first-person tale would be outstanding, and it was.

Often published stories of sex and general debauchery are told by arrogant men who think nothing of the consequences of their objectifying writing, let alone the earlier behavior that inspires it. So I was curious to see how a 20-something woman could pull off the same approach, but I wouldn't say it was overly objectifying. Lieskovsky didn't go overboard like, say, Tucker Max, but she wasn't entirely without a selfish arrogance. Overall, though, it was an honest and very well-written piece, and it's certainly worth reading. Even in the glossies, it's hard to beat clever writing about something honest and sexy.

Monsanto

I watched a documentary two years ago called "The Future Of Food", which covered the corporatization of something as basic as food. I'd never heard of Monsanto prior to that film, but will never forget that name now for as long as I live.

So when the May issue of "Vanity Fair" arrived last week, I turned right to this story about Monsanto and its "Harvest of Fear."

I'm an average American and I think many of us are merely aware of how banking, oil and many other front-of-mind industries are as corporatized as they are. But food?

It's a long article, but definitely worth a read. Actually, it's not just worth a read; I'd say you should read it. You must read it. I'm a lazy-ass, but maybe one of you will be inspired to do something about Monsanto's tactics. I don't know what you can do, but let's just say I'd have no problems if you dropped a bomb on its headquarters offices, located at 800 N. Lindbergh Blvd. in St. Louis.

Drinks On A Schoolnight?

Ran down to West Chelsea last night to see my friend Firth MacMillan's gallery opening. And when I say West Chelsea, I mean West Chelsea. I ditched hopstop's recommended plan of taking the 6 train to 51st street, then jumping on the E train to 23rd. Instead, I took the 6 down to 28th and walked a good half hour to the Hudson Guild.

I didn't really know Firth was into photography. The last opening of hers I attended, about a year ago, was ceramics. Not necessarily a man's cup of tea, but you still want to support any artist friends you might have and gallery openings are seldom a bad time.

But last night, she rolled out some soft-focus photography, and I was blown away. I'll let you try to guess what the image is of on the front page of the site I gave you in the first paragraph. I hope she puts more of her stuff online for y'all to see. She had about eight or 10 large prints that for my eyes seemed to prioritize color slightly ahead of shape. Firth truly has a gift, and I think you'll be hearing about her more in the future.

After that, it was off to Pravda, my favorite vodka bar. OK, it's the only bar I enjoy that bills itself as a vodka bar. And here I am thinking I'm in the know by ordering Ketel One the last 10 years or so, but the smartender last night recommended Russian Standard, and I'm fairly certain that's my new fave. Much smoother and even lighter, but doesn't lack an end result. I had a different kind of buzz after a couple of them. As you know, I typically avoid libations on a schoolnight, but it was a going-away party for my dear friend Sneha, who's on a plane at this minute flying to Egypt to spend a week before moving to Italy for a new fashion design job. She's the gal who I saw "Eastern Promises" with in December and she jumped out of her seat when Naomi Watts was wearing a Ralph Lauren dress that Sneja designed. She's fancy.

Recent Rental Reviews

The Kingdom -- I wanted to see this when it was in the theaters last year, but was surprised when it kind of disappeared without any real buzz. Watched it Friday night and it was excellent.

Punch-Drunk Love -- I've never enjoyed and Adam Sandler movie, but several friends assured me this wasn't typical Adam Sandler. They were right; it wasn't. But I didn't like this one much better.

Tsotsi -- Very good movie.

Smokin' Aces -- Decent movie. Lots of bloodshed, which I'm fine with. Just wasn't a great movie.

Half Nelson -- Prior to last year, I'd never seen any movies with Ryan Gosling, Ryan Philippe and Ryan Reynolds. But I became a fan of all three in 2007, and Gosling gives a nice effort in this good movie.

Factory Girl -- I'm not well-informed on the Andy Warhol era, so it was nice to get mildly indoctrinated. Good movie here.

The Great Happiness Space -- Bizarre. Young Japanese men make tons of cash partying with desperate women who are willing to fork over the big bucks. Odd documentary, but definitely worth watching.

A Crude Awakening -- You don't have to be a conspiracy theorist to appreciate this documentary. Definitely worth watching.

Review: Giants Win In Green Bay

No matter what trend or stat or Fahrenheit reading you put the most faith in, I thought before Sunday's Giants-Packers game that New York's nine-game road winning streak was the biggest thing to consider when trying to pick a winner before kickoff. San Diego didn't have a chance to upset New England, but I thought the Giants could pull it off against the Packers.

Sure Green Bay was the home team, but the smart money doesn't necessarily have to give the game to the home team in a rare cold-weather game. It's uncomfortably freezing for everyone, not just the visitors. And in this case, in fact, the cold weather favored New York.

The football Giants were -- and are -- playing hot football, and in any team sport, the postseason is the right season for a team to be playing its best. You don't always have to be the best team, but if you're playing your best, you can certainly beat the best team. Look at the Patriots' first Super Bowl championship, after the 2000 regular season, over the seemingly invincible St. Louis Rams.

The Boston Red Sox won their memorable 2004 World Series championship from the Wild Card slot because they were playing hot baseball. You hear the term "hot goalie" when hockey people are talking about how one player can carry a team deep into the NHL's Stanley Cup playoffs.

The Cleveland Cavaliers weren't the best team in the NBA's Eastern Conference last year, but they played their best basketball in April and May and eliminated a superior Detroit team.

In college basketball, the Florida Gators were a lock to repeat as national champs in 2007, but their first title the previous year was a result of clicking at the right time, not because they were the best team in the sport.

And the Giants? Now winners of 10 straight road games, they started 0-2, allowing 90 points in those first two games. They had a quarterback who looked just six or eight weeks ago like he wasn't capable of winning a high-stakes game. Now he's won three of them this month alone, all away from friendly -- most of the time -- Giants Stadium.

So why did I believe in the Road Warriors once more? Easy: Green Bay's offense isn't geared toward cold-weather success. A month ago, good friend, Wisconsin native and die-hard Packers fan John Boel lent some insight when he said, "I'd like our chances against New England in the Arizona heat better than in an NFC championship game in January in Green Bay." I agreed.

New York's offense features the hard-charging, two-headed rushing monster of Brandon Jacobs and Ahmad Bradshaw. And with Manning rifling passes to reliable Plaxico Burress and Amani Toomer, and with New York's defense playing with pride, this has become a very complete football team, and I don't expect New England to blow them out in two weeks.

BUCK, AIKMAN AT TOP OF GAME: FOX's broadcast was one of the best shows I've seen in a long time in high-stakes sports. And they did it practically seamlessly despite the sub-zero weather, which can often add an element of trickery to all those electronics. Even up to the bump-out music playing underneath 60 seconds of game highlights as the broadcast team signed off, the show was top notch. I'd never previously been a fan of Curt Menefee, but he earned straight A's Sunday night.

And I'll never tire of Joe Buck and Troy Aikman, who were better than usual last night. Unlike their understandably unheralded BCS counterparts of Thom Brennaman and Charles Davis -- um, Charles Davis -- who called a mediocre OSU-LSU title game two weeks ago, Buck and Aikman get high marks for chemistry, timing, insight and occasional humor.

I really liked this nugget from Aikman when the Giants were taking their time with the clock when they began a new set of downs in Green Bay territory, game tied at 20-20 and less than five minutes remaining: "They're trying to figure out if they want to go at their normal speed, or if they want to slow things down between plays to chew up some of that clock." I thought he was going to say the Giants would only be giving themselves less time in case Green Bay gets the ball back and ties the game or takes the lead. But no, he made a much better point: "When you decide this late in the game to slow things down, especially when you've been having success moving the ball, you run the risk of disrupting your offensive rhythm and losing your focus."

GREAT SHOT, MAN: In late-game dramatics, control-room heavies direct their photographers to focus in on all the key players as a critical play unfolds. I loved the tight shot of Giants coach Tom Coughlin watching the game-winning kick send his team to the Super Bowl.

LOOK-A-LIKE: I couldn't help but think of jolly old St. Nicholas each time FOX showed Coughlin and his rosy cheeks. And if NBA player Darius Miles had normal hair, he and Plaxico Burress would be twins.

Catching Up (New Year's Day edition)

Been out of touch lately. Here's what's up:

Friday, Dec. 21 -- My flight got in too late for me to attend Dr. Schwartz's funeral in Cincinnati, but I spent the entire rest of the day out at their house. Drinks and food and many good people made the day a pretty positive one.

Saturday, Dec. 22 -- Good friends (and charter sponsors of my photography venture!) Amanda and Guy had their annual holiday party at their lovely home in Newport, Ky. I enjoy holiday parties.

Sunday, Dec. 23 -- Drove back to Columbus to catch my flight back to New York. On the bus ride back into the city from LaGuardia, a tourist seemed lost, so I helped direct her to where she needed to go. This is relevant.

Monday, Dec. 24 -- Worked a slow and quiet Christmas Eve morning, then got a call from the lost tourist, a German nanny named Christina. She convinced me to put on ice skates for the first time in about 10 years. Was a little unusual spending Christmas Eve with a total stranger, but was nice to go ice skating after all these years. At one point, we saw a guy get down on bended knee at center ice and propose to his girlfriend (watch the video).

Tuesday, Dec. 25 -- Caught an extremely early flight to Cleveland to spend a few days with Mom and Mike. Ate some food, exchanged some gifts, napped, then big Christmas dinner, then more napping. The perfect Christmas Day!

The rest of the week was kind of like Tuesday. I ate lots of food and caught up on some rest. We went out several times, but what mom made at home was the shiz-nit. Sausage and cheese casserole for one breakfast, blueberry pancakes (with oatmeal in the batter) for another, shrimp salad to snack on throughout the week, Slovenian sausage sandwiches. Mom's cooking is so outstanding, and diverse enough that we're thinking about doing a cookbook now.

Another great thing about the visit home is the ample supply of hot water that comes pounding out of the shower nozzle, a far different setup than what I have at my apartment here in New York, where I get water pressure comparable to what would leak out of a limp garden hose that a car might be parked on in your suburban driveway.

Typically I'm the one annoying mom with toilet humor, but she actually pulled a fast one on me. As I said earlier, she made some Slovenian sausages for breakfast one morning. We had plenty left over. When I was in the shower later that day, she thought she'd try to scare me by leaving a little surprise on the floor of my room. None of her three cats was capable of doing something like what is pictured to the right, and it also didn't help her plan that I could hear her laughing all the way downstairs when I came out of the shower. But a good try nonetheless, mom!

I returned on Friday, Dec. 28, and had a lovely weekend. I don't go out in Chelsea often, but I met Crystal at Kanvas, which looks more like my type of place online than it turned out to be in person.

Saturday I finally got up to Harlem to shoot the enormous St. John The Divine (pictured, left), but was ill-prepared on the battery front, so a return trip is likely soon. New friend Bridget from work is also an avid photographer, but I wasn't the only one who planned poorly. She suggested we hit some art gallery before heading up to Harlem, and when we arrived, it was closed for the entire weekend.

I'm starting to dig the west side a little bit, and that was even before Bridget and I grabbed a beer and a burger later at The Dead Poet, a perfectly laid-back spot for a late lunch or early dinner on a cold Saturday.

Stayed in that night but met Sneha for a late brunch in Brooklyn on Sunday. She's a designer for a high-end label -- I think I've mentioned her here before -- and when she shot up out of her seat during "Eastern Promises" two weeks ago to say "Oh my God, that's my dress," I thought she merely owned it. Turns out homegirl designed what Naomi Watts was sporting in one of the movie's final scenes.

Speaking of "Eastern Promises," here are some recent reviews:

I Am Legend (Theater) -- Will Smith can usually do no wrong, so he makes a mediocre movie with a decent premise pretty good. But certainly not his best effort.

Eastern Promises (Theater) -- Good movie if you can handle heavy foreign accents that cause you to miss a line or two.

Perfect Stranger (NetFlix) -- Interesting ending makes up for a lackluster first 45 minutes or so. Halle Barry is good, Bruce Willis is decent and Giovanni Ribisi was given a couple of weak lines, but if not for the script he was very solid.

Glory Road (NetFlix) -- I'm not crazy about movies that take too many editorial liberties with true stories. It's an important part of American history that's gone largely untold, and Josh Lucas certainly was good, but there were certainly some script and timeline shortcomings.

Rushmore (Recent purchase) -- I hadn't watched this in six or seven years, but it didn't take long to remember how much I enjoyed it when it first came out. Wes Anderson and Jason Schwartzman both should have called it quits after this one.

Up next in the theater: Charlie Wilson's War, Atonement

New Year's Eve got pretty out of hand for me. One minute I was in the middle of an "Entourage" marathon on HBO, the next I was laughing my head off at the network's On-Demand "Extras" series finale. If you're still not familiar with Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant, please aks somebody. I enjoy my couch.

So I think we're about all caught up. Write in with your New Year's resolutions. Or don't. Here are mine:

Sell a lot more of my photography, visit Africa, do my taxes early this year, run more, get back in the kitchen, listen to this guy more often, buy a new camera, sell stuff on eBay, drink less, organize my music, get more of my writing published, see Alli T. in person, sell my car, count to infinity, worry less, advance in my field, choose to be happy more, call fewer women, get rid of clothes I don't wear or anything else I don't use, read the fine print, learn how to make clam chowder, eliminate debt (heard that one before?), meet Jonathan Ames, reconnect with some old friends, actually eat the fresh vegetables I buy, learn Flash, read a manual and throw at least one party.

Happy New Year, y'all!

Reviews

Lawrence of Arabia -- Again, I joined NetFlix six months ago because I wanted to watch some of the classics that I just never bothered to see over the years. Add this one to the list of good movies, but like "Gone With The Wind", "Casablanca" and "Citizen Kane," I don't think these are among the top five movies of all time.

Ocean's 13 -- Wall said he thought this movie "wasn't bad, but wasn't good either." Sometimes I like a little mindless entertainment for two hours, even if it's via the chase-the-money route. I hope they make Ocean's movies for 10 more years. Damon, Pitt and Clooney, and their cast of mostly lesser-known but likable (Casey Affleck, Don Cheadle, Scott Caan) buddies make this otherwise uncomplicated movie enjoyable.

No Country For Old Men -- In the 18 months I've been in NYC, I'd never locked myself out of my apartment.

Until yesterday.

So to kill two hours before my super could let me in on Tuesday, I sat down for this one and actually enjoyed it. Unfortunately, I've picked up a cough this week and was thinking about how annoying it was when the movie just kind of ended in the middle of a conversation. But definitely worth seeing, even if the theater I went to charged full price at 2:45 p.m. on a weekday.

Reviews

Idiocracy -- Sorry, Jeff, but I couldn't get into this movie. I do not recommend this to anyone. Boring and unfunny. Surprised to see Luke Wilson jump on this.

Zodiac -- Some friends told me they thought this was too long, but I didn't mind it. Gyllenhaal, Ruffalo and Downey team up for a pretty good overall picture.

Review: Real Time With Bill Maher

I don't doubt that I'm uncultured, but I just witnessed something I don't see very often.

The host of a live television talk show got heckled as I was watching. Bill Maher had three guests on tonight, one of whom was conservative pundit Chris Matthews. I was in the kitchen when I noticed Maher had cut himself off from saying something because of a disturbance in the crowd.

Minutes later, one person had been escorted out and several others remained in attendance to disrupt the live show. I'm a big fan of Bill Maher, but it was still cool seeing a live interruption based on political passion.

If you missed it, check your TV listings to watch for the reruns this week on HBO. It happens about 20 minutes in.